Dreams

In my many years of living, Ive come to realize that plans are meant to fail. Or that's how it seems. Time is meant to be wasted and love is meant to be lost.

I know your thinking, wow this sure sounds a lot like a country song.. But honestly.. Life has been good. Looking back on what Ive come from and the good times and experiences Ive had. They've made me a better person. But what hurts is the disappointment, the broken promises, the people that have been stolen from me and the pain attached to that. There are a lot of regrets in my life, but they are far lesser than those good things in my life.

Most of my regrets are attached to those things that I miss. Those future memories (which is a paradox by the way) and those past. I look forward to that time, when im comfortable in the fact that things are right and where they're supposed to be. Now dont get me wrong, I know that life is never going to be perfect. However it is all in perspective. When I imagine my future, I see things specifiacally. But at times, your visions contradict those of the people around you. Everyone reading (if anyone ) knows what Im talking about. Everyone at one point in time, imagines there future. They picture their kids, their house, their career, even that person you are going to marry. What's sad is, that over time.. Those dreams change.. Your desires are forced to change and conform to this rollercoaster we call life..

Im a strong believer in faith, in fact I believe that 95% of our Christian religion, is wrapped up in faith. How else would we take directions from an omni-present spirit we call God. How else would we obey a very real God, that we can not see? By faith. And as a christian, we're all forced to operate is some form of faith.. Ive chosen to make choices and direct my life in a way I feel, gets me the most God for my time hear on Earth. But, as I said earlier, dreams, desires, and promises are forced to confrom to life. Every living person has dreams, but if you really sit down and think about how many of you are dreaming the same dreams you were when you were 6, 10, 12, 16, 30? I know for me, one of my life choices was to love one woman and marry one woman. But due to a life sometimes mislead, I broke promises to myself and even others caught in my life's wake.. Im a goal oriented person, as I believe all males should be, and sometimes.. People change your mind for you.. And as much as I would like to hold on to those promises I've made, I can't. Somewhere down the road Im going to have to tell my wife, that I fell in love with another woman, and I gave my heart away. And somewhere in that dreadful converstation, Im going to have to expllain to her, that she is in someway better than my past love. Im going to have to tell her about my dreams and what I wanted for her.. But due to choices and mistakes, she won't be taking a part in any of those.

It's somewhat disheartening to know that my dreams are so fragile. That the things I want for my life are going to change tomorrow. That what I invest so much time, faith and prayer in, is something that is subject to change. And at times not by my own choice but by others. I didn't want to love this girl, I fell in love with. I didn't want to lie to myself and dream a dream, inpossible. I didn't want those things for my life. But, those choices made by other people, have gotten my dreams caught in their life's wake. And have shaken and even broken my faith and trust.

If you look at it from this perspective, it's somewhat like, building a house for someone, and amidst the happiness and celebration.. Taking a wrecking ball.. And trashing there hopes, for change, life, and seeming salvation. And all theyre left eith is the rubble, and are somehow expected to build a life worth living, out of nothing but debris. It's cruel.

With all of that.. I warn anyone reading and interested. To take into consideration those your effecting when you make choices and promises. Don't be selfish with yourself. You're choices are dream changers and crashers. When you make promises, mean it. When you love someone, keep it. When you want something take it. Faith is the key. We choose to see things, how theyre seen.

Choice

People tend to live their lives completely apart from one another… not considering that their actions and choices effect others lives, much less their own. It is with this mentality that we have become so ignorant of choice. Our lives are dictated entirely by choice and nothing else. We are given an option to respond to any and every circumstance that comes our way, although most people choose to run on an “auto pilot” course of life. Never giving any thought to the idea that what they choose in their lives whether past or present have landed them where they are now.
While there is the popular religious opinion that our lives and paths are dictated by some higher power and that there is no real choice in life. With this opinion, especially looking at it from a biblical perspective there is a seeming contradiction in the sense that in the beginning man was given a free will. He chose to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If you were of the religious opinion that God dictates our choices then the real outcome would be that God forced man to sin against him. Hence the contradiction, but if you were to look at it from the other point of view it is then that you realize we have a choice. And what the Christian faith really portrays is God who has a plan and dictates our steps it is our choice to follow that plan or not.

I truly believe life is what you make it. I usually attempt at avoiding clichés but at this point my writing requires such a statement. Choices have the potential to lead many down a path of pain and suffering and wrong choices, while they also have to ability to make life an adventure, and bring change to the world. Choice is “amoral”. It is incapable of causing evil or good in and of itself; it is subject to our will.

This typically offers hope, to know that the most abundant resource in life is at my disposal and has the utmost power and potential. I have to ability to excel and reach places no one has ever been before. I have the ability and the choice to change the world. On the negative side of things I can also ruin the world, ruin those I love. Kill my purposed and destroy my passion.

This is done through routine and an auto pilot life. Life then becomes mundane and boring. And essentially the opposite of what life is meant to be. Life is a gift, one which holds an exceptional amount of value. And by no means was it designed to be boring. We breath, we work, we die. This is not life. Life is excitement, passion, love, change, adventure, and at times, sorrow, grief, hurt, and confusion. Life is in no way an easy ride. Choices are not always apparent and rarely are. Right is not always easy and not always praised by men.

While life is a challenge, and a metaphorical Everest, it has been conquered. And it has been beaten. While many have died and fallen victim to its bloodlust and icy grip, there have been those who have reached the top and earned the honor of standing amongst the few that have suffered under the same challenge and circumstances.

Like Everest and the few who can claim they have beaten life, there have been people before you. There have been individuals who have surpassed all odds and made the right choices and routed life and taken it by surprise. This unfamiliar path is not without its sorrows, loss, and pain, but is also accompanied by passion, joy, and accomplishment. Most importantly you are awarded with the title of conqueror. A title very few in history have ever claimed.

The world is not without its stories of men who have made the unpopular choice and risen to the top. America has been based on the choices of men, who faced a certain death by which most were forced to pay. America is founded upon the “Spirit of Life” it was formed under the belief that the “Pursuit of happiness” was a right, not to be taken away by government or any man. Happiness can only be achieved through purpose, and the purpose of man is to live. And to live is to conquer.

Ted Dekker Series

I've recently began reading the Ted Dekker Series including Black, Red, and White (Ive only gotten to Red). And first of I must highly recommend the series. They give you an entirely new perspective on the world and they're very intriguing. Between the constant time shifts and tons of excitement and drama, it still gets a philosophical point across. It's basically a testimony of what the world would be like without evil. And evil believe it or not encompasses a wide variety of topics. Such as disappointment, hate, anger, even frustration; a lot of things are kind of challenged in the book and it reall y allows you to think. It also does a great job of contrasting both worlds; the one we live in and the perfect world. Almost like a modern Thomas More: Utopia.

The basic story line starts out with a guy named Thomas who happens to have run in with some loan sharks and has a bit of an accident and hurts his noggin... Well, this little boo boo gives him the ability to shift universes when he sleeps. So every time he sleeps in one world he awakes in another. It's an awkward but amazing twist to the story. It offers the best of both worlds.. Guns and Swords. Even some romance.

So if youre looking for a great read, I suggest this series. You can purchase them at http://www.amazon.com

If you have any questions or comments feel free to post.

Top 10 Best Movie Quotes (in my opinion)

10. Steve Butabi: "Hey, nice bulbs, Emily. Oh, and I don't mean that metaphorically." ( A Night at the Roxbury)

9. Fat Bastard: "I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook." ( Austin Powers "The Spy who Shagged Me")

8. Peire: "In France, when a man is caught poaching ostriches we shave his head and make him run through the fields." ( Dude, Where's My Car)

7. Dr. Raymond Stantz: "Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here."
Walter Peck: "They caused an explosion!"
Mayor: "Is this true?"
Dr. Peter Venkman: "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." (Ghostbusters)

6. Detective Drycoff: Who’s Eleanor?
Detective Castlebeck: It's a damn car. And don’t you ever talk about my wife. (Gone in 60 Seconds)

5. Forrest: "Mama always said, dying was a part of life." (Forrest Gump)

4. Ty Webb: You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body. (Caddyshack)

3. Dark Helmet: "Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb." (Spaceballs)

2. Dewey: My name is Dewey Finn. And, no, I'm not a licensed teacher, but I have been touched by your kids. And I'm pretty sure I've touched them. (School of Rock)

1. Reverend Johnson: Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving. (Blazing Saddles)

What We All Crave

In Life I find there to be one essential thing. Even in comparison to food, water, and oxygen this is more essential to survival. What every person craves in this world and is incapable of living without, is love. A person will spend a life-time searching for love. Be it from a parent, a lover, or a god. Entire lives are wasted on this one endeavor, for example Romeo and Juliet gave their lives in hope that they at some point in time would be together. A set of individuals who were denied their feelings, found their way through death. There are thousands of stories that have been told about martyrs who have given their lives to their god or some cause. This is a result of some form of love and some attachment.

Suicide is a rampant plague in the world and most of these sad endings start with their inability to be loved or so they feel. They for some reason were unable to find, that god, that woman, that parent who would love them back to life. And this failure to find love has resulted in an unpublished life.

If you were to think about, why you are where you are. And consider why your life is the way it is. It can almost certainly be contributed to the fact that you have followed some love, some passion, and have ended up where you are. What's amazing is, the things people will go through to feel loved and accepted. Some people will go through an entire wardrobe change and a complete paradigm shift, just to fit in with the cool crowd, and if they cant make it there they find other places to feel comforted.

Mind you this is not some speech about free-lovin' and world peace. It is more-or-less confronting some of the issues we all deal with. My main point in writing i this is to say that love is a choice. It's not some puddle you accidentally fall in and say "Ah crap, I got love all over me!" It's something more. It's something we all face and we all seem to confuse with acceptance and attraction. Love is undeserved. It's gentle. It can be both your downfall and your saviour. You must choose to chase love. This doesnt mean you have permission to stalk that girl or that guy you've been "SO IN LOVE WITH" it just means, you must follow your passions. And often times those passion don't come without hardship and resistance. You have to fight.

AF Production & Tools

With my present job being a full time Video Editor (which I have now been doing for about 3 years) I have learned a few things about some of the production tools out there. One of them being Adobe After Effects (the specific version being 7.0). After Effects is a tool that can be used for doing anything from designing a Credit intro to a movie production or just adding some flare to a college project. It's an extremely useful tool in my line of work, and is actually a fun thing to play around with for those of you who are both brave enough and nerdy enough to mess around for a while. Actually if you are practiced enough you can make some decent money using your new found skills.

I know that most of this information is exclusive to those if you who are lucky enough to own Adobe After Effects so for those of you who are looking at buying, you can get some additional information and prices here:

http://tryit.adobe.com/us/cs4/aftereffects_c/?sdid=EFNUS

A lot of the effects I use on after effects are used mainly for announcements of some sort. Most of my work involves video announcements, and I use AF (After Effects) avidly to get that point across with as much excitement and effectiveness as possible. Both AF and Premiere (and Adobe editing software) work together quite well, and each allow you to render your projects through sequences and compositions into ".avi" files which are a form of video file. Depending on the quality of your computer you can actually edit, produce and render a project quite quickly.

After Effects is a highly detailed program that allows you to edit and add effects to each individual layer of your composition. This feature is extremely helpful at times when you need to go back and change something. which unfortunately happens a lot in my line of work. There are several forms of layers such as a solid, null, camera, adjustment, and light. Each deal in specific uses for after effects, for example the solid layer can be used to change the background color of your composition; and the camera layer is extremely useful when using the 3D effects in your composition. The camera layer allows you to shift camera angles in your timeline allowing you to view the piece from a different perspective and add some excitement to your production.

You can use the 3D effects on each layer by specifically clicking the 3D button next to each layer name (the button looks like a 3 Dimensional cube). After doing thing you can actually key frame each section within the timeline and set the effects to being, end, or move at these specific key frames. When using the Camera with the 3D effect you can give your text the appearance of coming off of the page instead of it being 2D and pasted onto the background solid.

There are some amazing little add-ons and presets you can ad to AF. Each of them have a pre-designed effect, which save you the time of trying to figure it our yourself. You can purchase them online and download them directly. Often times you can actually find several presets free, online. There are presets such as a light-saber effect. So for you Star Wars fans out there you can finally release your feature film, using the real effect, instead of using florescent PVC pipe. There are add-ons out on the market that allow you to using some amazing partical effects, like animated explosions, and crazy lines. One of these programs that Ive used is "Trapcode Particular 1.5". The sad news is, this one is a little pricey, it's up and around $300. So for those of you who are planning on making some money at this... this would be a wonderful addition to your arsenal of AF production tools. The particular add-on can be used to create effects such as light streaks (for a great example of the effect you can view the iPod Nano commercial with the dancing people and the "light streaks") You can create some animated explosions, fireworks, a barrage of crazy lines, nearly anything is possible.

Also if youre looking for some more direct and helpful AF video tutorials you can look up Andrew Kramer at:

www.videocopilot.net

He's got some great tutorials on after effects that help give you some hands on training. He's shows you a lot of cool effects and some of the AF capabilities as well. On his site, he also has a lot of presets and add-ons for sale, such as "Riot Gear" which hold several grunge themed effects that can really spice up your projects. There's also a preset containing all of the Action movie essentials, like Blood Spatters, Explosions, Mayhem in a bottle.. Pretty much anything you action junkies can think of to throw into your own little home movies. So I suggest going and checking him out for some great ideas and After Effects Walkthroughs.

Overall After Effects is an essential for anyone serious about movie production and any serious form of editing as well. If you have any questions on AF you can email me at "jlepka@yahoo.com"

Not Our Mind

One of the most inevitable and least avoidable experiences in this world is personal opinion. Doctrine is being preached from nearly every venue in the world. Through the press, Universities, both public and private, the religious pulpit, and from the family dinner table; quite honestly the majority of these indoctrinations belong to the claims of the Christian religion. With this in perspective, you being to question who is on right side and who the real nuts are. Don't get me wrong, Im not criticizing Christianity souly, rather Im confronting more of the silly doctrine that is produced from these spotlight positions.

Constantly people are being bombarded by media propaganda, in countries both free and communist. It seems that every individual has a stance on nearly every issue imaginable, and have done their best to sway people to their "Faith". Whether it be evolution, abortion, the legalizing of marijuana, or transubstantiation. Opinions are as plentiful as the insane who make their claims. In areas such as the media, who claim to hold unbiased opinions, they seem to be everything but an equitable source for information. And from the pulpit there has been no better testament of the dogmatic doctrine that has been produced.

It almost seems that the most trusted people in, in the highest positions of society, have turned on the peasants (the common people) and made it their mission to sway everyone to a new world religion, consisting to their own beliefs and not that of a truly unbiased position and not that of the word from the book, they so fervently claim to serve. It is evident that man truly has his price and that is power and affirmation. Anywhere from Presidents to movie directors, doctrine is being thrust upon individuals so much, that we as a world society hold beliefs that are not our own; they have been brainwashed to believe the words of both communist dictators and deranged authors.

We live in a wolrd today, where our beliefs are not our own.